See those girls at the bar banning gluten to look fit?
They’ve got no clue how rye and wheat make a celiac sick.
They sip their Skinny Girl martinis and Omission beer,
Feeling like Gwyneth Paltrow when it was cool to be her.
Even Dr. Oz can’t decide if gluten-free is good or bad,
But smart chefs sure know how to profit on a fad.
Every corner restaurant got wheat-free spaghetti,
Even the waiters say no bread’s made them skinny.
“Well good for you,” An Allergic Foodie wanna say,
“I haven’t lost a pound since eating this way.”
Neither can the girl eat dairy, corn and soy–all make her sick.
Ah, yes dude, take out your pen and pad–this isn’t a trick.
This girl’s diet has nothing to do with the media craze,
For most, this gluten-free thing is just another phase.
But after the gluten-free menus are long gone,
A.F.’s need for A.F. food will still be goin’ strong.
So treat her right–don’t give that girl food without checking
That nothing she eats will be a reaction in the making.
Your tip will reflect the attention you’ve given,
To make sure that girl leaves your restaurant livin’.
But see those girls at the bar skippin’ the crackers?
They don’t get how for celiacs gluten-free matters.
At the end a meal, celiacs will pass on the cake.
But NOT the girls at the bar cuz their GF diets are fake.
(C) Amy E. Tracy